Hitting The Wall

Not wanting to admit
to yourself that your marriage
of umpteen years
has reached a dead end
and that the woman
who you once thought was
the love of your life
can now no longer
bear the sight of you
is called
Hitting the wall

Not wanting to admit
to yourself that you have
reached retirement age and
that your working career
for all intents and purposes
is over
and that at your current age
you will
never again hold a
job that is worthy of
your talents or one
that will
compensate you
with enough income
to actually pay for
your living expenses
is called
Hitting the wall

Receiving a diagnosis informing you
that you have a chronic medical condition
that has no cure
forcing you to become a
pin cushion and
push- me pull-me toy
of the jaded and corrupt
so-called health care/
medical provider system
is called
Hitting the wall


Having to suffer the final
indignity of ending up
all alone
in a nursing home
(and that is if you are lucky
enough to find one that
will accept you)
and knowing that
you have begun
the final chapter in your life

Having to make all of
the pre-arrangements
for your own funeral
because you have
no significant other
who can be trusted enough
or who can be bothered enough
to do this for you

Having to watch helplessly as
your circle of friends
(and blood relatives)
becomes smaller
and smaller
with  each untimely death

Having to purchase
an electronic monitoring device
to summon aid
in case you fall and
can’t get up
because you live alone and
there is no one else around to
hear your cries for help

Having to decide between
buying food to eat or
paying for your medications
or having to pay for the rent

Having to give up
so many of the things
that you once loved to do
because you are no longer
physically able or
mentally capable
of doing them

All of these things
(and the list is far
from complete)
whether suffered
separately or
in combination
add up to
the existential phenomenon
known as
Hitting the wall

Which kind of
helps to explain
(in a perverse way)
why NASCAR
has become
America’s
number one
fastest growing
spectator sport!

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2012