Self Inflicted Wounds

When I find myself
In times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom 
Let it be – 
Lyrics by the Beatles

And in my hour of deepest darkness
Mother Mary also came to me
Saying let it go until tomorrow
And let yourself go free

Half a bottle of scotch already gone
Alcohol poisoning starting to settle in
All the world covered in darkness
As the room begins to spin

When Mickey finally
Comes back to open
Our shared dorm room door
He finds me passed out
Barely breathing
On the cold living room floor

When I was once again able to
Open up my eyes
My head was hanging in the loo
And my arms were
Wrapped around the toilet’s thighs
My face several different
Shades of blue

I was vomiting green bile
By the time most of the convulsions
Finally stopped
Mickey had somehow managed
To get me out of my stinking clothes
And the floors he’d already mopped

He stood me up naked
And forced me to stand
In the cold shower rain
And then he
Unceremoniously
Threw me into my bed
And left me to my pain

I probably owe Mickey my life
But I don’t think those words
Were ever actually said
I mumbled that he’d make
Some lucky man
A pretty good wife
He just ignored me
As he placed a pillow
Under my head

When I finally came to
(Several hours later)
I hardly felt human
(More like an alligator)

It was the worst hang over
That I had ever known
And all I could do was
To hang my head and moan

That settles it then
Said Mickey
Shaking his head
And clucking his tongue
In his best pre-med
Bedside manner

You’ve been warned!
You’ve been cut off!

No more Sartre or Camus for you
He said
You low down miserable sinner!

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2012