Today

Today especially
But not just today
I am feeling
Like a proper
Wanker right now
Which is just
Another way
Of saying that
I am feeling
Very poorly

 I am fairly certain
It is my diabetes
Acting up on me
Diabetes and
A whole slew of
Other things too
A proper stew of
Miseries almost
Too numerous to mention

Though I somehow managed
To drag myself to work today
I keep wanting to
Fall off of my chair
And to just
Lay down on the ground
To just curl up
So that I can take a proper
Snooze

I’ve already
Used up my supply of
Insulin
And now I‘ve got to go out
And score some more

I am planning to do it
Today or tomorrow
As soon as I can cop
Some more money

I do not know
For certain
If insulin
Is addictive or not
But it sure does
Feel like it is

I’ve got to stop
Writing now because
I am feeling just
Too punk to
Write

Some time later
Same day

(After I’ve washed my face
With cold water and
Tried to catch some sleep
At my desk)

These days
I make sure to
Write things down
On my shopping list
To remind myself to buy
Stuff that I really need
But that I  always
Seem to suddenly forget
By the time
I get myself to the store

This time
I need to make sure
To buy some Aleve
At the RiteAid
Today or tomorrow
To assuage the shooting pains
In my neuropathized (sp?) legs

And now that I
Come to think of it
I’m also really sick
And tired of having
To walk past
The HQ for the
Philadelphia Catholic Diocese
On my way to
Family Court
And being forced to see
Jesus
Still hanging on his cross
After all of these years

He really doesn’t look
Very well at all
With his crown of thorns and
Lintel cloth covering his groin
His arms look so tired
Aching to be let loose
He looks like I feel

I am thinking that
He needs to be allowed
To get some sleep
He needs to be allowed
To get some rest
He needs to be allowed
To dream of better days
To come

Maybe one of these days
I will come back
With a hammer and chisel
And I will set him free

I am sure that
The newspapers would
Call such an act
An act of
Wanton vandalism

Not me
I would rather call it
A wanton an act of
Mercy
I would rather call it
A wanton act of
Charity

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2011