It's All Quite Ridiculous

It’s all quite ridiculous
Don’t you know
This whole
Crazy glue
Crazy quilt
Business of love

The who loves whom of it
The where and when of it
The how and why of it
The why do I even care or
Why do I even want
To go through the
Bother of it

And how in the world
Is one to even know?
How is one supposed to
Be able to tell
When so and so
Claims to be in love
With you know who
And has been
For the longest
Period of time
Without anyone
Knowing or suspecting
And for the most part
Even ever having a clue?

Unrequited love
Is one thing
But a love
That never comes
Out of the shadows
Never daring to
Declare itself or
Announce itself
In the broad light of day
To what purpose
To what logical end?

Why must love
Always seem
To  be seen
To be
Working at cross purposes
With itself
To always
Be caught in
So many
Odd and compromising
Positions
Always trying to explain itself
Always trying to clarify
What it really meant  to say
Instead of simply stating
Whatever it was that
Needed saying
In the first place
Always tongue tied
Stuttering like a
Frightened adolescent
Who has been
Caught in trying to
Perform some
Natural or
Unnatural act
Under the covers
Behind closed doors
In and out of the shadows
Full of guilt
In need of self confession
And contrition
In need of redemption
Lacking in confidence
Lacking in self esteem
Unable to find the words
Unable to unzip
Fangled contraptions that
Have no business being
Hidden behind zippers
In the first place

How is it that
Whenever the matter of
Love once again
Rears its ugly head
It immediately begins
Contradicting itself
With a basket
Full of lies and
Deceits
Full of cunning and
Imprudence and
Compromise
Yearning and desire
Experimentation and
Submission
Wanting to dominate and
Control
That which cannot be
And ought not to be
Dominated or
Controlled
Domesticated or
Trained
Mummified or
Stifled
Suppressed or
Repressed
Obsessed and
Manifestly expressed
In every conceivable way
One way or another

Embarrassed to be seen
Excited by an opportunity
A chance encounter
A lucky
Turn of events
Happenstance
Circumstance
Synchronicity
Serendipity
Elasticity
Promiscuity
Romance
Mood
Hormone
Enzyme
Just the right lighting
Intoxication
Artificial stimulation
Self gratification
Fornication
Masturbation
Beyond the bounds
Out of the box
Beneath one’s
Dignity
Training
Upbringing
Sterilization
Castrations
Endless
Numbing
Indoctrinations
Recriminations and
Fulminations
Yet desperately
Wanting to be
Needed
Loved
Embraced
Kissed
Hugged and
Fondled
In every
Available orifice
On every square inch
Of exposed skin
All the while feeling
Wholly inadequate
Utterly unlovable
Unknowable and
Unapproachable

Fearful of seeming
To be all thumbs
And so maladroit
So inexperienced
So virginal
So nubile
So nebulous and
Unformed

And yet
So full of
Wanting and needing
That to go on living
Even one more day
Without consummation
Would be tantamount
To committing an act
The equivalent of
Sexual suicide

It’s all quite ridiculous
Don’t you know
This whole
Crazy glue
Crazy quilt
Business of love

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2012