How It Usually Works

Usually
This is how it goes
Usually
This is how it works

For the most part
Before I decide to do
Anything important
I do try to consult my head
I do try to act without emotion
I do try to avoid acting with
Undo haste
And for the most part
This method has served me well

But I also tend to consult
My heart for advice
And if my heart should
Happen to say
That something ain’t right
I usually tend to listen

But then if my head starts to
Insist that the thing is right
And my head and my heart
Get into a big fist fight
Then I usually defer to what
My heart is saying
For better or worse
(Mostly for the worse)

Sometimes my head
Wins the contest
With logic
And by providing
Solid information and facts
To back up
Well presented arguments

Then I consult my heart
And my heart
Has always been known
To be rather untamed
And rather unruly
And for the most part
Poorly disciplined

My heart is famous
(Notorious?)
For making some
Very infamously
Poor decisions

My heart is sadly
Inclined towards
Laziness and
Self indulgence

It does me
Very little good
To have to keep
Reminding myself
That my imperfect
Though well meaning
Heart
Has a very poor
Track record
When it comes to making
Good decisions
Au contraire mon frere
Au contraire

If anything
My heart is
Notoriously unreliable
And prone towards making
The most egregious of mistakes

Yet though I have had
To learn most of everything
The hard way
At the proverbial school
Of hard knocks
My heart
Refuses to yield
To mere logic
As the saying goes
Please do not confuse me
With the facts!

So I pamper my heart
And I indulge my heart
Despite the growing
Toll of car wrecks
That I have had to crawl
Away from
Due to my heart’s
Pathetic record of
DUI arrests

My head
My logic
My sobriety
Has always taken a
Back seat
To the endless
Whininess of my
Willy nilly
Achy breaky
Heart

I have always thought
(Hoped?)
That as I aged
And as I grew older
That I would also become
Wiser and more mature
With each passing year

I have always thought
(Prayed?)
That the situation
Might change
As they years passed
That I would become
More thoughtful
More deliberative and
A bit more cautious
But
Sadly
That has not proven
To be the case

Soon
I will be celebrating
My 65th birthday
And after lo these many years
As my hair has turned from
Dark brown to charcoal grey
And then to snowy white

About all that there’s
Still left to say is that
(Despite my very best efforts)
There’s just
Not very much
About me that
Has actually
Measurably
Appreciatively
Substantially or
Definitively

Changed

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2011