Beat The Clock

There used to be
A black and white
TV show on
CBS
Back in the early 1950’s
Called
Beat The Clock
Hosted by a non-descript
TV pitchman named
Bud Collyer

The gist of the show
Was to have several
Non-descript guests
Representative of the totally
Conformist TV viewing public
Perform several dumb people tricks
On a large stage
While the ever present
Clock loudly ticked off the time

Usually the given task
Had to be accomplished
In sixty seconds or less

The assigned tasks
Were as mindless
As they were inane
Stuff like having
To stack a set of plates
Without using hands
Other stunts involved
Getting the contestants
As sloppy dirty as possible
So that they would
Slip and slide
And do prate falls
And be as humiliated
As the show hosts were
Able to do
Within the confines
Of the so-called
1950’s ethics code
Of acceptable behavior

Which was to pretend
That all this
Public humiliation was really
Being done in the name
Of good clean fun

Who would have thought
That such mindless mischief
Would become the template
For the rest of our
Working lives?

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2011