These Days

These days
I am drowning
in unwritten
movie dialogue

These days
my life has become
a silent film
like a still life
daguerreotype
etched on a
fading copper plate

My arms are aching
for grand children
left unhugged

Today is
Sam’s third birthday
and I am not there

I send presents
but that is no
substitute
for scooping him
up in my arms
and hugging him tight
smelling the scent
of his hair
holding him close
to my chest
grandfather and
grandson

All I get are
pictures

Pictures of missed birthdays
Pictures of missed family outings
Pictures sans moi

Pictures are nice
but they are not enough
not by a long shot

jhmarkowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2012