We Fought All the Way Back

We fought all the way back
From the hospital
That cold October day
That our newborn daughter Amy
Was brought home
to our shiny new house
for the very first time

I have no recollection
Of whatever it was
That we were arguing about

I just remember
That the words
Were bitter
And angry

Amy was in the backseat
Snugly wrapped
In her swaddling clothes
as she soundly slept
Blissfully unaware
That her parents
Were on the verge
Of divorce

We had been married
For all of five years
When Meredith
Gave me the ultimatum
“I want to have a baby
or I will kill myself” she said.

Did she really mean it?
Was she just bluffing?
I was terrified
What kind of madness was this?

Not wanting to admit
That my marriage was over
I meekly complied
With her wishes
And one year later
Almost to the day
Amy was born

“I am happy” said Meredith
as she held Amy
in her arms for the first time
the one and only time
that I had ever heard her say the word

In those days
No one ever said the words
Post partum depression
In those days
It was even rarer to hear the words
“I want a divorce”.

Why have babies
If you knew all along
That you were planning
To divorce the child’s father
At the first opportunity?

If all she ever wanted
Was a convenient sperm donor
Why not just go the nearest sperm bank?
I guess that was my role
I guess that was my job
Last hired
First fired

j.h.markowitz
Philadelphia, Pa. 2011